Sarjeck's mission was standard organ extraction. It was a mission that his species has performed on Earth's cattle for centuries.  A speedy trip to the planet from the dark side of the moon, and then a quick trip to the surface to get the organs; zip in, zip out - textbook easy.

 

Unfortunately, during this trip, everything that could have gone wrong with his ship did go wrong. There were mechanical problems, computer problems, problems with the tractor beam, problems with the navigation system, and even problems with the cloaking mechanism. Sarjeck promised himself that this would be the last time he let his brother talk him into buying used.

 

As a result of all the problems, Sarjeck would not be able to hover over his target and beam it up for processing. Instead, he’d have to land the ship and collect the organs the old-fashioned way, with a stun stick, and a laser scalpel. He hated the old fashion way. Stunning and cutting was a messy business, and it took longer to get the job done. The humans would see his activities as another case of cattle mutilation. Sarjeck only saw it as dinner, and having a quota of livers, did not want to waste the night.

 

Without a functioning navigational system, he couldn't say for certain where he’d ended up, but based on his reentry angle, his best guess was that he’d ended up somewhere in the American southwest. Anywhere was good really, as long as it wasn’t California.

 

He found some cattle at the top of a grassy plateau, far from any populated areas. It wasn't a large herd, but it was large enough and he set the ship down at the edge of the grassy field where they were resting. The cattle scattered of course, but Sarjeck was expecting this, and he shut everything down to wait for the creatures to calm, browsing his ship's repair manual to pass the time.

 

When he figured the moment was right, Sarjeck extended the boarding ramp and opened the hatch. With his stun stick and laser scalpel in hand, as well as a collection bag across his shoulder, he exited the craft in search of some cattle. What greeted him at the base of the ramp caused both of his hearts to skip a beat. Standing there at the bottom, looking up at him slack jawed, was a human male and female.

 

Sarjeck's first instinct was to run into his ship, and he turned towards the still-open hatch prepared to do so. Yet something about these two seemed a little off, and he stopped a moment to turn and get a better look at them.

 

The male wore skinny jeans with suspenders and a plaid shirt. He kept his face hidden behind a waxed handlebar mustache and long but well-trimmed beard. His partner wore some loose denim shorts over a pair of black tights, threadbare at the knees. She covered an oversized band tee with a small black leather jacket.

 

"Damn it," Sarjeck said under his breath, "Hipsters."

 

For a long and uncomfortable moment, Sarjeck and the hipsters stared at each other. Sarjeck being in a bit of a hurry, was the first to speak.

 

"Well?" Sarjeck asked, in a tone that intended to convey his irritation.

 

The male pointed a shaky finger at Sarjeck and sputtered, "Yo ... you're an alien!"

 

"No shit, sherlock," Sarjeck said, "What clued you in, the spaceship or the little green man?

 

"Damn it, Tom. I told you I would do the talking," the woman said.

 

"Oh yeah, Cathy, sorry," Tom said.

 

"Look bossy pants," Sarjeck said to Cathy, "I'm not sure what opportunity you think you have, but I have a lot of work to do, so if you and your friend don't mind, I'm going to get busy.

 

Sarjeck continued down the ramp, pausing at the bottom to shoo the pair out of his path, and then he continued towards the cows.

 

"Wait! You're not planning to kill those cows, are you?" Cathy said, jogging up to Sarjeck with Tom keeping pace behind her.

 

"What I plan to do is to collect some livers," Sarjeck declared and used his stun stick on the nearest cow, which collapsed to the ground with a thud. With the laser scalpel ready, he prepared to slice the belly open.

 

When Cathy saw Sarjeck about to harm the cow, she grabbed at his arm and pulled it backwards. This caused him to drop the tool before he could use it.

 

"No!" She shouted, startling the other animals and causing them to scatter.

 

Sarjeck yanked his arm out of her grasp, picked up the scalpel, and then turned to face her. "What the hell, lady," he said.

 

"Cows are gentle animals, surely you can find something else to eat."

 

"Like deer?" Sarjeck snorted. "Nah, we tried that, and it was a pain in the ass. Cows are much easier because of the fences."

 

"No, I mean like a vegetable or something," Cathy said. "You don't have to eat meat."

 

"You could eat Tofu!" Tom added.

 

"Tofu is not real food," Sarjeck and Cathy said to Tom in unison.

 

"Animals feel pain and have emotions," Cathy continued, “isn't their life worth something?"

 

Sarjeck thought about that for a moment, but in the end, dismissed the idea entirely.

 

"I'm sorry," he said, "but liver stays on the menu. If it's any consolation though, your meddling did purchase these cows a little more time."

 

He pointed east where an orange glow was beginning to form on the horizon.

 

"Thank You," Cathy said.

 

Sarjeck laughed, "Don't be so hasty with your gratitude. It’s not like I’m going back empty-handed."

 

With a quick flick of his stun stick, he zapped Cathy who collapsed at his feet. Tom just screamed and ran away, escaping before Sarjeck could stun him too.

 

Oh well, he may not meet his liver quota this trip, but Sarjeck would at least make his abduction quota.