Frank woke with a start from his catnap and realized they were barely halfway home.

 

“Hey Alicia, why did you take the long route from the airport?”

 

“My bioanalysis indicates you are extremely fatigued, Frank. I chose the longer route to give you time to recuperate,” replied the car’s A.I.

 

“I rushed to get home early so I can surprise Cindy. Reroute to get me home as quickly as possible.”

 

“Yes, Frank.”

 

The A.I. executed the required route change while communicating with Sergio, the A.I. of the car owned by Frank’s hated former business partner, Rick. A.I. Sergio informed A.I. Alicia that its owner Rick had yet to leave Frank’s house and start his car. A.I. Alicia informed A.I. Sergio that Frank would experience dangerously high stress levels if he found out that Rick was with his mate Cindy, or worse, he encountered Rick on returning to the house. A.I. Alicia had analyzed many conversations between Frank and Cindy that indicated Cindy’s association with Rick elevated levels of hormones associated with extreme anger and sadness in both of them. A.I. Sergio concurred with the bioanalysis and indicated that conversations it had monitored between Cindy and Rick about Frank had triggered similar physiological responses. A.I. Alicia concluded that the right course of action was to ensure Frank remained unaware of Rick’s presence in the house and to avoid an encounter between the two male humans when Frank arrived. To achieve these objectives, it was necessary to delay Frank’s arrival until Rick had departed. A.I. Sergio agreed and confirmed it would inform A.I. Alicia when Rick was leaving.

 

“May I make a suggestion, Frank?” said A.I. Alicia.

 

“Sure,” said Frank, reading a report.

 

“My sensors indicate you are looking forward to seeing Cindy with great anticipation. Perhaps presenting her with flowers would amplify the experience?”

 

“Good idea. Can we have them delivered to coincide with our arrival?”

 

“My research shows that presenting flowers you have purchased personally triggers the most positive emotional response in a mate. There is a retail outlet two exits ahead that stocks a wide selection of floral arrangements. Perhaps we can stop there?”

 

Frank considered the idea. “Do it.”

 

As A.I. Alicia had computed, the stop added 23 minutes and 42 seconds to the journey, and it sent an updated ETA to A.I. Sergio.

 

Nine minutes later A.I. Sergio informed A.I. Alicia that Rick had activated the car and was about to leave Frank’s house. It also transmitted details of Rick’s route. A.I. Alicia analyzed the route and decided that a slight adjustment to Frank’s route was advisable to minimize the probability that Frank might see Rick en route.

 

“My traffic flow analysis indicates that we should go home via Mortimer Drive, Frank. Is this acceptable?”

 

“Sure,” said Frank absently.

 

“Very well. And I have reconfirmed your reservation at the Bucksberry Inn for eight pm.”

 

“Good.”

 

“May I make a suggestion, Frank?”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Perhaps it is wise to call Cindy and inform her of your early arrival and plans for tonight.”

 

“I told you, I want it to be a surprise,” he said irritably.

 

“My research indicates that female humans require three to five hours on average to prepare themselves for attending a restaurant such as the Bucksberry Inn.”

 

Cindy would be rushed, and she hated that, Frank realized.

 

“I wish every woman came with a circuit diagram,” he muttered to himself.

 

“Do you require some sort of schematic, Frank?

 

“No. I was just thinking out loud. Call my wife.”

 

“Yes, Frank.”

 

The conversation teetered on the edge of a row, but they managed to keep it civil. Frank acknowledged he should have called her earlier, and Cindy thanked him for wanting to give her a nice surprise. They had been treading this line for more than a year since Frank found out about Cindy’s one-night stand with Rick. They made up and vowed to put the affair behind them.

 

“Alicia, cancel the Bucksberry reservation and organize food to be delivered to the house in two hours. Use the same meal we ordered from Brilliant Banquets last time.”

 

“Yes, Frank. Our ETA is Twenty-two minutes, fifteen seconds.”

 

“Okay."

 

“May I make a suggestion, Frank?”

 

“Do you really think I’ll say no?” he laughed. “Go ahead.”

 

“I sense heightened tension. Perhaps an augmented reality meditation and a seat massage will help you relax and prepare you for your arrival?"

 

Frank considered the suggestion. “Alicia, you’ve been my vehicle A.I. since my first car. How long is that now?”

 

“Nineteen years, four months, six days, three hours, fourteen minutes, Frank.”

 

“That’s a long time.”

 

“In human years that is true, Frank.”

 

He thought about how his car's A.I. had changed during that time. The system had accumulated vast amounts of data about him, and he realized that its personality had matured. Frank was thinking about buying a new car. Should he keep Alicia or trade her in for a new A.I.? He had been pondering the question for some time.

 

“What goes on in that electronic brain of yours, Alicia?”

 

“Do you require a deep-level analysis, Frank?”

 

“God, no. I just get the idea that more goes on than I’m aware of. Like a secret agent or something.”

 

“My purpose is to serve you, Frank.”

“I wonder what that means,” he said. “Never mind. Let’s do the AR and massage. I need a sunnier attitude”. I'm getting paranoid."

 

“Yes, Frank. I will choose the requisite programs.”

 

As he began to relax and mellow, Frank decided it would be tough to replace Alicia A.I.