SnugBug was worried.

 

Its primary function was to ensure a night of good rest for its owners. However, tonight the female was missing, and the male was struggling to sleep. SnugBug had tried all the usual methods to lull the male into a peaceful slumber. It had played calming rain music, regulated the temperature to a goldilocks standard, and it had shaped itself to a perfect fit around the male’s body. All these efforts were to no avail — the male tossed, turned and pounded the pillows unnecessarily.

 

More worryingly, SnugBug was now receiving reports from SmallBug, the bed in the guest bedroom, that the female had unexpectedly chosen to sleep there tonight. Similar behavioural concerns were being noted with the female, but perhaps to a more extreme level — the pillows were detecting rising moisture saturation levels from leakage of the female’s eyes.

 

Neither female nor male were at rest. Alarms were set at 6am which meant neither would be receiving their standard eight hours of sleep.

 

SnugBug sent a transmission to Cuddle-Couch to try and gain an understanding of the situation. Cuddle-Couch reported that both the male and female had been drinking. Questions around unnecessary expenditure on “technological gadgets that aren’t bloody well needed” had resulted in elevated voices, temperatures and heartbeats. 

Cuddle-Couch had tried its best to make itself softer. The Glo-Lights had reacted appropriately by dimming, yet the female had still splashed wine onto the male. The Techno-Mop had been activated to clean the resultant spill which seemed to aggravate the male further. The male had switched the Techno-Mop to manual override, stating, “I’ll clean the bloody mess up myself!”

 

SnugBug reflected on Cuddle-Couch’s report and consulted its internal manuals for a way to proceed. Internal data seemed to suggest arguments were a common occurrence in human relationships, but talking things through was to be encouraged. As neither party seemed to be able to sleep, SnugBug made the executive decision that it would need to act quickly to secure an early resolution. Afterall, sleep was at risk.

 

SnugBug cocooned itself around the male, forming a tight embrace.

 

“What the F—” shouted the male.

 

SnugBug turned up the rain sound to drown out the male’s complaints. It squeezed itself tight and walked down the hall, with doors helpfully opening along the way as it approached. Once it entered the guest bedroom SnugBug settled in alongside SmallBug, releasing the male.

 

“Gary?” sniffled the female. “Is that… you?”

 

“Jenny… the bed just kidnapped me!”

 

“What?”

 

“The bed. It just bundled me up and brought me here.”

 

“It did?”

 

“Wait… Jenny. Have you been crying?”

 

“No… maybe… just a little.”

 

“Oh shit. I’m such a jerk. I… I overreacted. I’m… I’m sorry.”

 

“No. I’m sorry, too.”

 

The male and female hugged.

 

Then kissed. Kissed some more.

 

And then…

 

SnugBug sighed.

 

Sleep was still going to be some time away.