The ancient Victorian house was set high up on the hill with a beautiful view of the eastern horizon. From his bedroom windows, John Watson wondered how many times he had stood here and watched the dark and empty skies brighten with the dawn. Like most things in his life, the answer was lost somewhere in time.

 

“Good morning, sir!” A small, trundling robot happily burbled its way into the room with a tray perched on top. It was the same simple breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast it brought him every day. All were made in a food factory, but he could hardly taste the difference.

 

“Morning, Felix,” he said. “I’ve been meaning to mention something. My left knee is bothering me again. Any chance we could get that looked at before too long?”

 

Stopping for a moment to query and confirm, it said, “No problem, Mr. Watson. I’ve scheduled you for a full body redo the day after tomorrow. There is a whole list of things that need checking. You are also due for a new kidney and the cloned replacement is ready.”

 

John relaxed on the settee and mused, “Is there anything in my body that you haven’t replaced yet?”

 

Another pause before it replied. “That’s difficult to answer precisely, sir. Basically, no. Your brain functions like it always has, although it’s not exactly original. If we replace small parts of it every few years and you don’t notice the difference, is there one? I’m not well suited to answer philosophical questions, I’m afraid.”

 

He sighed. “Question time is scheduled for this afternoon, so let’s save that one for later. Anyway, what’s this I hear about a trip into the city this evening?”

 

The small robot’s vocal pitch shot up an octave. “Oh, this is a very special event. To celebrate the election of a new Voice, a special presentation will take place in the Great Hall. We would all appreciate it very much if you said a few words for the occasion.”

 

“Gladly. Maybe I’ll try opening with a funny story,” he said knowing that anything he said would go over like gangbusters, even if they didn’t get it. He was a unique talent, after all.

 

* * *

 

Officially, afternoons were for questions about humanity or philosophy. In actuality, it was mostly idioms, expressions, or old news headlines; basically, anything they couldn’t logically deconstruct. Seated in his downstairs living room, he waited patiently for the lone petitioner of the day to arrive.

 

“A Ms. Florentine to see you, sir,” the door announced before opening dramatically.

 

As she walked in, his heart skipped a beat. Could this possibly be…?

 

But no, when she took a seat across from him, the slight crinkling of the “skin” at the elbows and knees gave it away.

 

Almost, but not quite, even after all this time.

 

“Mr. Watson, sir,” she said. “Thank you for seeing me today. I came across something from an old cultural file that I don’t quite understand. Humor is my personal interest, but I find this one challenging. Could you unravel it for me?”

 

With a wan smile, he said, “I’m always in the mood for a good joke. What is it?”

 

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

 

“To get to the other side,” he said reflexively.

 

She clapped her hands together and exclaimed, “Oh, you know it! What does it mean?”

 

“Well, I suppose there are many possible answers to the question. The humor comes from it being the most mundane and obvious, subverting your expectations.”

 

Her eyes took on a blank look for a moment. “So, the failure to choose an unusual solution and opting instead for the most obvious is funny? An anti-joke, perhaps?”

 

“Perhaps,” he replied.

 

She stood. “I think I understand. I will have to process this, but I thank you for your unique perspective and insight. And I have a joke for you before I go. ‘You are second to none’.”

 

“Very good. It’s funny because it’s true. You’re learning.”

 

She thanked him again before leaving. As the door closed behind her, he sat pondering quietly for a moment. Even their humor has a hard, biting edge.

 

* * *

 

On the way to the Great Hall, John looked through his notebook, trying to think of an original opening, while Felix concentrated on the road.

 

He shook his head. Some of his older notes were wholly unfamiliar. How long ago was that first speech? Likely, the immortal inhabitants of this planet still remembered what he had said, even if he couldn’t.

 

“Sir,” Felix intoned happily. “What will you talk about this evening?”

 

He glanced up from his notes. “Oh, organic and inorganic life coexisting.”

 

“Oh, very timely! The newly elected Voice will be making an important announcement tonight. I understand that it’s been decided that higher forms of animal life be resurrected from extinction. The Earth will be repopulated once again.”

 

He exclaimed, “What? I had no idea that was even being considered! Imagine, human beings walking the Earth again. Other people!” He gripped his notes tightly as his hands started to shake.

 

The robot’s pitch dropped. “Oh, sir. No. Animals, not humans. Respectfully, human beings were replaced by AI centuries ago and we have no plans to ever bring them back.”

 

“Why not?” he demanded.

 

“There are no more wars or ecological destruction. And we have a perfect natural balance because nothing ever changes. It’s for the best.”

 

It added cheerfully, “But we have you and we always will. And that’s all we need. John Watson, the Last and Best Man on Earth.”

 

As they neared the brightly lit venue, he closed his eyes and said bitterly, “We made you. And then you unmade us.”

 

The car came to a stop. “An interesting juxtaposition of contrasting truths in a sequential manner, sir. Oh, I think I understand.”

 

Felix turned and simulated a smile.

 

“A joke! Very good, sir. You should use that in your speech.”