Published:
April 10, 2024
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I've always lived alone. I like it that way.
I had my groceries delivered and blinds shut, so the War was over before I noticed. Hey, I had a good book. Whaddaya want from me?
First I knew about it was when I looked to check on my InstaCart. Instead I seen onea them spider drone things in the middle of the street. Scared the bejeezus outta me. Ten foot steel legs and a baseball body, it'd scare you too, dammit. Daddy longlegs from Robot Hell.
Thing didn't see me. Heard me, though. The latch click drew its attention, and it poked around my alcove until it startled a rat. Speared the thing with one leg, then shook it off dead.
Not many rats left now. Not the worst thing about the War.
Anyway, like I said, I don't mind being alone. What got me was, I didn't have any choice. Damn spiders kept me indoors 24-7. Just picturing that rat, know what I mean?
But after a while, guess I went stir crazy. Anyway, dammit, this was my town! Not some friggin' spider robot's.
I brought my baseball bat, because I'm only just so suicidal. I also had a pocketful of golf balls, which I figured I could throw as distractions, like with dinosaurs in that movie.
Just from luck, I went out right at dusk. Apparently the spiders all go quiet around then. Dawn too. Had no idea. Anyway, I caught two sitting right out in the middle of the road and beat 'em into bits. They didn't even twitch. Pieces were cleaned up by morning, so maybe it didn't do no good, but it felt good.
After that I went out morning and night. Looted a Whole Foods for canned goods, set me up for months. Fifteen minutes there, a whole day shopping, then fifteen coming back. No sweat.
So there's this jewelry shop out on 2nd, in the display window there's this chess set, gold and platinum, rubies, the whole shebang. Struck me there's no reason I shouldn't have it, what with the end of the world. Not like anyone's gonna call the cops. Trouble is, it's a long walk, plus all that security glass.
One day I stared so long, the spiders were moving again. My golf ball distractions were useless. I had just time to duck into the Verizon store next door and hide. Even then, one woulda got me except for my bat. Good thing they don't talk to each other.
Hm. Maybe they do, dusk and dawn. Check in, sorta thing. Hadn't thought of that.
Anyway, I spent days trying to figure out how to bust in. That thick glass, I coulda swung my bat all day long. What I needed was a garbage truck, tires so tall I could just roll forward and through. Same time, I'd set off noisemakers to spoof the spiders. Their hearing was sharp as hell.
I found my truck. Took days. Sidewalk driving was easiest, but cross streets were murder. Bumper to bumper stalled cars. Always hated city driving.
I made my distractions, cell phones charged on a solar rig. Couldn't call 'em, no service, but the alarms worked. I set 'em to Billy Joel songs for luck.
First phone, I put two blocks down and one over, then the next further away and two minutes later, and like that. The last distraction I set in a trash can with magician's flash paper and two propane tanks offa backyard grills. Left one with the valve cracked. Boom, right?
Now, you gotta wonder why I was risking my neck over a damn chess set. I didn't even play, fer Pete's sake. But it's like I said: This is my town, dammit. Chess set's just an excuse.
That last night I holed up in the cellphone shop, waiting for the alarm, twenty-two minutes before dawn. When it sounded I was watching. Metal spiders pulled themselves out of trashcans and windows, dead cars and storm drains, musta been a hundred, and more coming alla time. Spooky as hell. I stayed quiet and still, barely breathing.
The first alarm stopped with a squeal, and right away the second sounded. By then my street was clear. I ran out and started the truck, then eased forward. I didn't want to break the window until the propane tanks blew. They did, and I did. God, what a racket!
What I didn't expect was, when the window broke, a metal anti-theft grate slid down, damn near closing the display off. It caught the truck just behind the radiator. I ran around the hood and ducked inside.
And there it was: My chess set, glowing red in the sunrise. Loveliest thing I'd ever seen. I just stood and looked for a second, then bent to pick it up. Thing weighed a ton. I realized it'd take several trips.
All of a sudden, that steel grate slammed down and latched. I turned and watched through the holes as my garbage truck rolled back into the street -- without its radiator. Musta forgot to set the parking brake. Oops.
I heaved on the grate, but it didn't budge. I beat on the walls with my bat, musta been five minutes before I saw the steel core. I was caught but good, dammit, and no way out. Rat inna cage.
I looked out through the gaps in the metal. It was well past sunrise by now, and the spiders would be out hunting. Not likely my propane surprise had killed 'em all, not hardly. I hunkered down in a corner and shook for a bit: adrenaline reaction, I guess.
About then something inside me snapped. I stood up and stretched, then let out with a loud whistle. I raised that bat to my shoulder and started yelling:
"Come on, you bastards, you spider robot alien longlegs sonsabitches! Come and get some! This is my town, you hear me? MY TOWN!"

Copyright 2024 - SFS Publishing LLC
My Town
Just picturing that rat...
J. Millard Simpson

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