Goran thought his plan was solid, if not completely foolproof. Rescue a human from one of those adoption agencies and use it to meet women. Hot chicks love humans, so they must love human owners. Goran completed the twenty-five-page application, the eight reference checks, and the three-stage interview process. It was a pain in the ass, but worth it to get the ultimate wingman.

Kevin was paired with Goran three months ago and was a total bust thus far. Instead of the ultimate wingman, he had got an eating, sleeping, and pooping deadweight dependent. Although he had not scored yet, he was optimistic after what he deemed were a couple of close calls at the park.

The park was an open stretch of close-cropped purple grass with the occasional patch of tall swaying ferns. Sprays of water danced from a fountain in the middle of the lake, with a barren mountain range rising on the opposite side. When the two suns were setting, it was the most beautiful place Goran knew. So, where were the babes?

Goran posted up on a bench and scouted the park again. There were only dudes and uglies out today. This walk was another bust until a bright voice rang out behind Goran. “Oh my god, he’s so cute.”

Goran turned and eyed a jogger with a gorgeous light brown mane. She had voluptuous mammary sacs and the shoulder musculature that drove Goran wild. She was a definite hottie. “Yep, that’s my little guy. He gets his looks from me.”

She gave a cute giggle and bent down to get a closer look. “Aww… hey there, buddy. What’s his name?”

“It’s Kevin!”

“Hiiii, Kevin,” she extended the greeting for a beat too long, then reached out and ruffled his hair. “You’re such a good boy, aren’t you? Yes, yes, you are.”

Ralli rebuffed Kevin’s poor attempt to swat her hand away and kept petting him.

“Be nice to the lady Kevin. I’m Goran, by the way,” Goran extended his hand to the crouched girl.

She took his hand and let him help her up. “I’m Ralli. Nice to meet you,” turning her attention back to the little human, she asked, “Is he a rescue?”

“Yeah, got him from the Humane Abduction Society. The thought of all these cloning mills operating now irks me so much. Why would you clone a human when there are billions living in squalor on their home planet? Just sickens me.”

“I know! I wish I could adopt them all, but I wouldn’t know what to do with that many little humans! Let alone one. I don’t know if I could handle it.”

“It’s pretty easy! Mine tinkers around with pieces of scrap in his pen all day. I think he’s building toys or something. It’s nice to see him so busy. When I first got him, he was so despondent. He’d nap all day, and when he wasn’t asleep, he’d stare blankly out the window. Now he likes his walks and talking with all the other little humans.”

“Must have been so lonely for him at first. Well, I’m glad he’s making friends. Can you speak, Kevin? Speak!”

“I built an antimatter bomb and will detonate it tonight!”

“EEEEEEE!” she shrieked with delight. “I wonder what he’s saying?”

“Probably something like ‘duh… interstellar travel is impossible.’”

Ralli leaned back and let out a belly roar of laughter. “They’re such a silly species.”

Goran waved the ball in an overt display to get Kevin’s attention and then hurled it down the park. Kevin watched the ball sail through the air and promptly sat down when it landed. Goran’s grin faded to a slight frown as he realized Kevin was not returning the ball.

“I guess he’s not in the fetch mode,” Goran laughed. “Hey, if you’re not busy later, do you want to grab a drink or something?”

Ralli averted his eyes, looked over to Kevin, and smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

They exchanged contact information and set a time to meet later that evening. After an awkward hug goodbye, Goran romped through the grass to get the ball.

Goran thought this was finally it. The endless application hassles, finding the right algae cube diet, and everything cost much more than anticipated. It was all going to be worth it. He picked Kevin up with one hand and brought him into his chest. “You’re finally paying off, bud. Oh yeah, a hot date with Ralli! Who’s a good boy?”

“This city will be molten slag in a few hours.”

“That’s right! Daddy’s going to get laid tonight!”