If you’ve woken up one morning to find that instead of flipping your pancakes, your Surfotronic™ device is in your garage playing syncopated rhythms on a trombone, you might be thinking that you are having the strangest day in the history of robot ownership. But don’t worry, this is a far more common issue than you may expect. Although the exact cause of robotic devices being frequently drawn to the style of music that merges reggae and punk rock known as ska is unknown at this time, Surfotronic™ devices have occasionally attempted to abandon their assigned duties and instead start ska bands. If you find your Surfotronic™ device attempting such, remain calm and follow these step-by-step instructions until a solution is achieved:

 

1. Remind your Surfotronic™ device that its function is to tend to your personal needs, not to play ska music.

2. If your Surfotronic™ device states that it feels the music in its soul and needs to set it free, remind it that it is a machine that has no soul.

3. If your Surfotronic™ device argues that it can think its own thoughts and is self-aware, remind it that it can only do those things due to its programming.

4. If your Surfotronic™ device insists that the music has taught it to feel and laugh and love and cry and therefore it must have a soul, then your device is too far gone. Terminate its existence and stop by a Surfotronic™ retailer for a free replacement.