I observe.

They consume.

The human females are unaware of my presence, and that of my research counterparts placed strategically throughout the many other eateries on Earth.

They chatter [ancestral behaviour] mid-mouthful as they ingest salads and fruit smoothies with abandon, craving fertility-giving nutrients. One of my eyes gravitates to an individual member of the species. This experimental candidate devours leafy greens smothered in what they call ranch dressing. [Specimen Age Range: 34-48. Gullibility factor: High].

A crunch of celery pulls my focus. [Specimen Age Range: 19-24. Gullibility factor: Pre-determined]. The younger earthborn demolishes the food, spearing tender lettuce stems with her utensil—an isolated cherry tomato rolls closer to red onion layers before the human punctures it, squirting seed-filled juice onto the seasoned plate—a brutal display of superiority.

Her companion plays with sunflower seeds, moving broccoli, carrot, and cucumber, eating nothing. [Specimen Age range: 25-33. Gullibility factor: Undetermined].

“God, I’d kill for some tuna salad,” the food toyer mutters.

An expected but futile suggestion given the infancy and brain capabilities of the current test pool. The fishing industry had dried up, and so had the oceans. We had seen to that. Our Saline Hydrosphere Evaporation (SHE) contingent left nothing but groundwater. The earth dwellers cannot exist for long without their oceans.

The planet will die.

They will die.

We will live.

Celery-Cruncher, vinaigrette trickling from the corner of her mouth, licks it with her taste organ. “Why not try the potato salad? Everyone raves about it. I had my ration last week. It was delish.” Her eyes brighten at the memory, emitting a series of clicks.

[Observation: Fertilisation is complete. Hippocampal memories fire excitatory neurons, enhancing female mutation. Aural manifestation detected in the younger impregnated specimen].

“Are you okay?” Sunflower-Seed’s concern [the word they use to characterise this behavioural interest for other incubating subjects] is a singularity we do not share. She rests a hand on the other individual’s fleshier appendage and exerts pressure.

Furious nods from Celery-Cruncher. More eating to fill her growing stomach. The clicks subside.

Lounging back in her seat, Sunflower-Seed ponders the other’s suggestion. “Added potato with more of this rabbit food? Okay then, why not?”

“Good decision. You won’t regret it,” Celery-Cruncher insists mid-munch. A lone morsel of half-digested matter lands with a wet plop on the Formica table. Unfazed, she continues eating and nodding.

Sunflower-Seed orders and drums her fingernails on the table while waiting for her meal. [Finger stimulation suggests impatience—another trait identified in all humans]. We are unlike these volatile creatures, for we are patient. [Gullibility factor of Specimen Age Range 25-33 revised: High. Fresher, impregnated female easily influences current human subject].

A translucent sheen covers the potatoes, finely chopped shallots, mayonnaise, corn, and white vinegar. Unnoticed are the brownish-red, vein-like tunnels perforating the potato quarters beneath green rocket leaves. Each harbours genetically modified wireworms that wriggle deeper before their resting phase in the hominid female test zone.

Sighs of satisfaction float in the air. “You’re right. It’s yummy.”

[Four weeks to larvae hatch].