“My research strongly indicates that the gigantic hole in the Siberian tundra was caused by a buildup of methane gas deep in the ground which exploded with momentous force,” wrote Dr. Ivan Petrov.

 

The scientist glanced up from his email and stared through the window of the large hut that had been his makeshift research base for more than three months. He could just make out the rim of the enormous circular hole he had been studying. Something caught his eye. A silvery discus-shaped object appeared to rise out of the hole. Petrov cleaned the grubby window with his cuff. The object stopped momentarily above the hole’s gaping maw, flew in his direction, and landed on telescopic legs about 100 yards from the research base. A door opened in the ship to form a ramp, and a tall, thin figure strode out. Petrov wondered whether his months of isolation were taking a mental toll. There was a loud knock.

 

“Greetings, sir,” said the stranger, adjusting a device on his elongated pale green neck.

 

Petrov gaped at the newcomer, who fixed him with bulbous yellow eyes.

 

“Sorry to disturb you, but can I ask whether you abide here?"

 

“Abide here?” said Petrov, taking a step back.

 

“Do you reside on this part of the planet?”

 

“Yes, For a brief time. Who are you?”

 

“Officer Zaag of the Galactic Environmental Force. May I ask you some questions, sir?”

 

Petrov was nonplussed. He would like to invite the stranger in and shut out the Siberian chill but was terrified of the gaunt alien figure. The stranger’s blue-and-green outfit that seemed to be some type of uniform was not reassuring. Zaag sensed the portly, middle-aged human’s turmoil.

 

“No need for me to enter your abode, sir. This will not take long. I’ll be on my way very shortly.”

 

“I, I suppose …”

 

“Excellent! Have you seen any large spacecraft in this vicinity?”

 

“No.”

 

Zaag nodded. “Have you heard any strange noises, such as an explosion?”

 

“No.”

 

“How about odd smells of charred earth, or bright lights?”

 

“No.”

 

“Very well. Many thanks for your time, sir.”

 

“Wait a minute!” said Petrov as the alien saluted and turned to leave. “Why are you here?”

 

Zaag paused as if trying to decide how to answer.

 

“Illegal dumping,” said the alien.

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

Zaag explained that he was chasing a criminal enterprise that dumped trash on planets illegally.

 

“What kind of trash?”

 

“In this case, residue from proton drives,” said the alien. “I am almost certain the culprit is the largest supplier of energin and spaceship proton drives on Planet Rivalda. They are bound by law to take back the residue from customers’ spent energin fuel pods and dispose of it responsibly. But it is an expensive process and there are many low-cost trash pirates more than willing to dump the stuff on planets like Earth.”

 

“Why Earth?”

 

“With all due respect, sir, your planet already looks like a landfill,” said Zaag and emitted a high-pitched whine which Petrov assumed was a laugh.

 

“You are saying that these trash pirates caused this hole?” said Petrov, pointing to the seemingly bottomless void beyond.

 

“Exactly. They fire the trash in containers at high velocity from a high orbit so the waste is buried deeply then depart for another load. It is a highly profitable business.”

 

“What will this residue stuff do to our planet?”

 

“Hopefully not much in the next couple of hundred years. After that the residue will start to decay and there is a risk of massive explosions.”

 

“That’s terrible!”

 

“I know. But now that I’ve reported this dump we should be able to apprehend them soon.”

 

“Is there nothing else that can be done?”

 

“Not much.”

 

“This is outrageous! These criminals are putting the planet in danger.”

 

“Yes, they are. Then again, if humans have not figured out how to deal with all the trash they have dumped on their own planet by the time the residue starts to decay, Earth will be in deep trouble anyway!” said Zaag and emitted another laugh.

 

“This is hardly a laughing matter,” said Petrov indignantly.

 

Zaag’s mirth melted away. “Of course not, sir. And please be assured, we will arrest these criminals as soon as possible. If we don’t, more illicit dumpers will come and before long Earth will look like a …” The alien adjusted the translation device on his throat to find the right term. “Like a Swiss cheese, yes, I believe that is the term used on Earth. A rotten one at that!”

 

Petrov was aghast and stared at the alien mutely.

 

“Well, nice to meet you,” said Zaag. “Thank you for your help, sir. I should be on my way.”

 

Zaag saluted, and Petrov watched forlornly as the alien marched back to his ship and boarded. Seconds later the craft took off and disappeared into the powder-blue Siberian sky.

 

The scientist poured himself a couple of vodkas before returning to his computer. He deleted the email and started afresh.

 

“My research is inconclusive. More research is needed to ascertain how the mysterious hole appeared in the Siberian tundra,” he wrote.